We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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