im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
