dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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