Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
