did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
