She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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