dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
