I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
