I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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