Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
