OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
