I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
