Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
