Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
