Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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