she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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