In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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