First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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