so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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