I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
