go do what you do best...puke behind churches
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
