Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
