all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
