"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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