There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
