Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
