EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
