Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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