love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
