question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
