Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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