I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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