I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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