i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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