You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
