Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
