So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
