Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
