All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
