So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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