Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
