Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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