I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
