Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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