biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
