Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The beer is more important than you right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize