I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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