I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
