so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
