I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Two words: blizzard sex
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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