I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
