Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
