that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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