You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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