I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
