i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
