cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
