Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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