Do you still have your period?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
